This story was available to Gold Supporters in August 2021, which is when it takes place
Sitting in one of the front pews of the church, I could hear my name whispered by multiple people around us. My husband and I had just rolled up in a new $90k car, which certainly didn't go unnoticed by the town's resident busybodies. Sunday service was about to begin, and a good amount of the congregation needed a reminder that Envy is a sin. Then again so it Pride, so I'm hardly one to speak.
I couldn't help but feel proud of the life I'd built for myself. In marrying Thad Harland three years ago I'd snagged one of the town's most eligible bachelors. He came from a good Texan family with strong morals. They didn't exactly have oil money but they did pretty well for themselves by ranching. Well enough for Thad to go to law school and become and renowned attorney, only to be followed by his younger brother Earl who was a physiotherapist with several top-tier athletes as clients. As Mrs. Thad Harland, I didn't need a job other than taking care of our four-bedroom house and one-year-old daughter.
Thad and I had met at this very church. My mama always told me to look for a man at church rather than a bar, and she wasn't wrong. The only problem with dating church men in my early 20s was that they so goshdarn boring. I had a few fuck buddies back then – truckers, farmhands, plumbers; nobody I would actually consider marrying but they were EXCELLENT in bed. The men from the congregation just put me to sleep, and I could swear some of them were still virgins.
Until Thad, that is. On our very first date at a fancy restaurant, he started dropping several sexual hints. I played along all too happily. An hour later, we were skipping dessert and Thad was eating me out in the backseat of his car in the restaurant parking lot. He'd offered to drive us back to his place but I preferred doing it right there in public, which sparked up a naughty twinkle in Thad's eyes as well.
We didn't fuck that night but we've done pretty much every conceivable thing since, including acts that would give our fellow churchgoers a heart attack. I loved to eat Thad's ass and he returned the favor. I also fucked him using a strap-on on occasion. Like most straight men, Thad had never been fucked before but after I brought it up he agreed to humor me, "just this once." Turns out he liked it more than he anticipated, and now he came to me asking for it himself.
The sermon started, and I sat in the pew with my gorgeous husband on my right, daydreaming about possibly fucking him tonight. As interesting as my fantasy was, one person managed to distract my attention. It was the person sitting right next to me on my left: Thad's brother Earl. He probably noticed me daydreaming and he just smiled at me. It was a smirk that seemed to suggest "I know what you're thinking about," even though he couldn't possibly know I was picturing myself wrecking his strait-laced older brother's ass.
Earl was two years younger than Thad. They looked alike as much as siblings who weren't twins could, even though Thad's dark-blond hair was almost brown and Earl's was several shades lighter. 31-year-old Thad's eyes were brown and Earl's were green, but other than that there weren't many differences. Both stood at about 6'2", with smooth-shaved square jawlines and Adam's apples that made it look like they'd swallowed a jawbreaker.
If I hadn't married Thad, I would've certainly tried my chances with Earl. Surprisingly he was still single, only recently getting out of a longterm relationship that everyone expected would lead to the altar. How any woman could let go of a man like Earl was beyond me. As he sat next to me in a button-up that looked like it might rip under the pressure of all his muscles, I wondered what that torso might look like without a shirt.
This wasn't my first time fantasizing about Earl, even if he was my husband's brother. For one, he was handsome as fuck. Granted, his brother was just as fit – Thad and I both went to the gym regularly – but the forbidden fruit's always sweeter. Besides, they were just fantasies, and that never hurt no one.
Dreaming about the two brothers got me horny. Discreetly, I took my husband's left hand and placed it on my right thigh. I was wearing the shortest dress I could get away with in church and I pulled it up until most of my thighs were exposed.
"What're you doing?" Thad leaned in and whispered in my ear. In doing so, he also placed his right hand on my thigh, turning me on even more.
Instead of answering verbally, I just took my husband's right hand and guided it up my leg until it was between my legs. I looked around. On Thad's other side, his parents were sitting with my daughter in Thad's mom's lap, none of them paying attention to us. On my other side was Earl, but I wasn't particularly worried what he might see. In a way, I hoped he would see his big brother fingering me right here in the middle of the sermon.
Thad played along and fingered me with his index and middle finger for a few minutes before pulling out. When he did, I looked straight at Earl's face which was sporting another smirk. Did he know? Did he notice what just happened? Maybe I'll soon find out. After the service, I decided to invite my in-laws over to our house.
"It's such a hot day. Why don't we spend it by the pool?" I suggested, eager to see both Harland brothers shirtless.
Back at our house, Earl borrowed a pair of board shorts from his brother and they both jumped in the pool. I made margaritas and I joined the two brothers in the pool, wearing a modest bikini. I wished I could don one of my sexier pieces, but I didn't want to do it in front of Thad's parents. After a while, my husband got out of the pool to make lunch for everyone, leaving me alone with his sexy brother.
"So how did you like today's service?" Earl asked me. His mischievous tone made it sound like a double entendre more than anything.
"It was a very nice… service," I tried to sound both flirty and casual at the same time. Earl and I had joked around like this in the past, but we'd never crossed any serious lines. There's a first time for everything… The margaritas were strong and successful at lowering my inhibitions.
What Earl did next was to splash me with water. Even though we were in the pool, I'd been trying to keep my hair as dry as possible.
"What're you doing?!" I shouted at my brother-in-law.
"I'm tryna get you wet," he replied, and it took me a moment for his words to register.
"And what happens after I get wet?" I asked, wiping water off my eyelids and looking at Earl. I'd been right: with his shirt off he was every bit as buff and sexy as his brother.
"That's up to you," Earl replied sensually. Just as I was about to lose control and kiss my husband's brother right there and then, my mother-in-law came to announce lunch was ready.
We all got dressed and we ate. After the meal, Thad's parents started to get ready to leave. As per usual, my mother-in-law was having a hard time saying goodbye to her granddaughter, saying things like "I'd like to take you with me and keep you forever."
"Why don't you take her for the night?" I suddenly suggested. "If you want to, I can pick her up tomorrow morning."
My plan worked like a charm. Soon, Thad's parents were off, taking the baby with them. I was home alone with the two brothers.
"Let's go back in the pool," I said, keen on getting half-naked again. The brothers put their board shorts back on, but I went to my closet and picked out a bikini so small that I couldn't get away with wearing it at a family-friendly beach.
When Thad and Earl saw me, they eyes went wide like they were cartoon characters. My husband had seen me wear this before during a trip to Europe, but my brother-in-law had never set eyes on me in something so revealing. I walked up to the pool with a fresh batch of margaritas, fully intending on lowering the Harland brothers' reservations and seeing where tonight might lead us.
As the afternoon turned to evening we started to get chilly and we moved to the outdoor hot tub. There, my husband and I kept hugging and groping each other's asses, even though his brother was sitting right in front of us. When I reached between Thad's legs at one point, I realized his cock was hard as a rock. I grabbed it under the surface of the water and stroked it through his wet trunks. Now that he was so turned on, I decided to up the ante.
"You boys don't mind if I take this off, right?" I said, already untying the strings of my bikini top. Before they had a chance to say anything, both brothers had my boobs right in their faces.
"Ahem. You alright, honey?" my husband asked, stroking my bare back.
"Yeah, I just wanted to get more comfortable. You don't mind, do you?" I asked him flirtily.
"No. I mean, if you don't…" Thad said, looking at his brother.
"Not at all!" Earl assured us, his signature smirk on his face.
We continued drinking and flirting this way. Of course, the conversation became a lot more sexually charged. My husband reached over and grabbed my tits a couple of times, something he never did in front of his brother before.
"What I wanna know," I said with my hand still on my husband's cock, "is if you two ever did anything sexy together. A threesome with the same girl, maybe?"
"Why, are you offering?" Earl asked seductively.
"No, we've never had a threesome with the same girl," my husband answered my question.
"Although, we… well…" Earl said.
"What?!" I asked eagerly.
The two brothers looked at each other and I knew there was a story there. I rubbed my husband's dick through his shorts, hopeful to hear the tale.
"Well… You asked if we'd done anything sexual together," Thad said. "When we were in high school, we went camping with a bunch of our friends. All guys, five or six of us. We started a camp fire, had a few beers, and… long story short, we had a circle jerk."
"Really?!" I smiled ear-to-ear.
"Yes. Thad and I were sitting next to each other," Earl grinned at me. By now, I was certain he could tell I was jacking his brother off under the water and I wasn't even attempting to hide it.
"Is that the first time you saw each other's dicks?" I asked.
"Hell nah! We'd seen each other a bunch of times. Although that might be the first time we saw each other hard," my hubby explained.
"First and last. So far," Earl winked at me.
"It's been so long. Maybe it's time for a repeat," I suggested.
"What do you mean?" Thad asked.
Next, I took my hand off his erection and untied the drawstring of his shorts. Thad seemed to be putting in no resistance, so I started pulling them down. It took some effort to get them past his hard throbbing cock, but I was no quitter. Past his knees, shins, and ankles, and I pulled the shorts out of the hot tub, throwing them away ceremoniously. Now, I was free to grab my husband's nine-inch boner without any material in the way.
"Are you hard?" I asked my brother-in-law, staring him right in the eyes while stroking his brother's meat.
"Maybe," Earl replied sultrily.
I didn't need to say anything next. Earl pulled off his trunks by himself, throwing them out of the tub to show he was now nude.
"Stand up," I said to the two brothers, enjoying my dominant role.
The Harlands listened to me. They both got up, the water now reaching to the top of their thighs. Their dicks were visible in all of their erect glory. Two hard, cut, all-American dicks, Earl's probably an inch longer than his brother's. They even kept their pubic hair equally trimmed and their balls shaved.
I placed a hand on each of the brother's ball sacks. I looked at my husband, who wasn't objecting to me touching his brother like this.
"Let's get out of the tub," I said. Somehow, I'd become leader for the evening, and I intended to take full advantage of it.
I walked ahead, with the two brothers following me behind like faithful dogs. I was only 5'6" and I enjoyed having two tall, large, muscular men like them trailing after me. I led them to the master bedroom, where I sat on the bed. The Harlands came to sit on each side of me. As soon as their thick asses had touched the mattress, I stood back up. I walked across the room and sat in an armchair instead, watching the brothers sit on our marital bed by themselves.
"Why don't you jerk off for me like you did during that camping trip?" I said.
"Would that turn you on?" my husband smiled at me and then looked over at his brother as if to ask "Are you cool with this?"
Earl answered the silent question by wrapping his fist around his hard dick and starting to pump up and down. My husband began to do the same thing. As much as I loved Thad's dick, for now I was mostly paying attention to Earl's ten-incher. It was my first time seeing my brother-in-law's cock and my first time seeing it hard at that! I'd been right: every woman to let him go was definitely missing out.
Both brothers began manspreading, their knees bumping against each other as they opened their legs as wide as they could. It was funny: looking at them was almost like looking at a reflection in a mirror. They had the same exact technique, both of them jerking off with their right arms and occasionally tugging on their balls with their left, as if they'd been practicing this together.
Their muscular stomachs inflated and deflated as the brothers' breathing became more intense. Maybe they were doing this for me, but they were certainly enjoying themselves as well. Occasionally, they would look up and make eye contact with me or one another, but for the most part they were ignoring each other even though their legs were literally rubbing together.
"I want you to look at each other's cocks," I said. "I want you to look at each other while you jerk off."
The Harlands obeyed. My husband looked to his right, where his brother was sitting. Earl looked to his left, staring down at Thad's cock. Now that they were observing each other, their movements became even more synchronized.
"Fuck, you guys are so hot," I said, sliding my fingers in my bikini bottom and touching myself. This distracted my husband, who looked over at me.
"Look your brother in the eyes," I told Thad. He did as I asked and he and Earl made intense eye contact while jerking off. I could FEEL the sexual energy flowing between the two brothers, charged up to a hundred.
The Harlands' rigid cocks started leaking precum from their yawning piss slits. When they noticed it, they both used it as lube to stroke their shafts. To add to it, Earl spat in his hand first. A moment later, his brother imitated the gesture. With their hands wet, I could now hear the fapping noise as both of them beat their meat with their fists.
"Jerk each other off," I moaned.
The brothers looked away from each other and they turned to me. I noticed hesitation in my husband's brown eyes, but he didn't say anything. His younger brother was the one to take the next step. Earl's right hand wrapped itself around Thad's dick, slowly starting to move up and down, mixing their saliva and precum on Thad's shaft.
The older Harland brother couldn't not return the favor. He turned around to his right and placed his hand on his brother's cock, stroking it in up-and-down movements as well. Once again, their tempo was perfectly synchronized. Without me needing to ask them now, the brothers looked one another dead in the eyes. They masturbated each other like this for several minutes, occasionally letting soft moans and grunts escape their lips. Every now and then, one of them would spit in his hand and then take his brother's prick with it, using man-made lube.
"You boys are gorgeous," I assured them. "Get on your knees on the bed. I wanna see those booties."
The two brothers let go of each other's dicks. Like obedient cadets, they jumped on their knees on the bed, with their size-12 feet dangling off the edge. They were kneeling upright, both of them jerking off while showing off for me. They both had AMAZING asses. My husband's was slightly hairy, which I never had a problem with. His brother had sparser hair, or maybe it was just lighter and more difficult to see. Either way, men often tend to neglect their glutes so I was thrilled that that wasn't the case with the Harland brothers. Their asses were so perfectly thick that I couldn't get enough.
"Bend down and show me your holes," I instructed. My husband and his brother let go of their dicks and they fell down on all fours, pushing their assholes out. "Spread them open!"
Thad and Earl fell to their shoulders on the bed, reaching back with their hands and using them to spread their cheeks wide open. I could now see the hair surrounding Earl's hole as well, although there wasn't much of it. My husband's hole was a bit furrier, and I always liked the way his hair moved back and fourth when I fucked his asshole with the strap-on.
As he held his ass open, my husband's fingertips got very close to his bullseye, to the point where he was almost fingering himself. If he was craving a finger up his ass, that's what he would get. But it wouldn't be his own.
"Get back up on your knees," I said and the brothers knelt upright again. "Touch each other's asses."
Earl put his right hand on my husband's left asscheek, and Thad placed his left hand on the right of his brother's ass. They both squeezed one another's thick butts, slapping each other playfully and even letting out a little laugh.
"Reach in closer," I instructed. "Touch each other's holes."
After a moment of hesitation, the Harlands obeyed once again. Their hands ventured closer and closer to each other's cracks, until I could tell they were grazing one another's holes with their fingertips.
For the first time since sitting down on the armchair, I got up and I walked to the nightstand. There, I pulled out a tube of lubricant and I walked around the two muscle bros, applying some lube on my fingers and then smearing it on their assholes.
"Go in. Just a little bit," I flirted, excited to see just how far they'd go. As if I'd drugged their drinks earlier (I hadn't!) the siblings did absolutely everything I told them. I watched as their middle fingers poked around their lubed up ass lips before finally diving in, little by little, inch by inch.
"Fuck yeah, boys!" I praised. "Earl, you ever had a finger up your ass?"
"As a matter of a fact, no. Never," my brother-in-law replied.
"Well, we'll be gentle with you," I said. What I really wanted to say was "your brother will be gentle with you," since Thad was the one fingering Earl's ass. But I didn't want to draw too much attention to that fact, as if addressing it was more taboo than actually doing it.
I watched the brothers' fingers as they disappeared further and further up each other's asses, until they were all the way in up to the last knuckle. Earl was breathing faster again, getting used to the sensation, but I stroked his sweaty back and assured him everything would be alright.
"Your brother's taken much bigger things up there. Trust me, you can do it," I said.
"Oh yeah?" Earl asked. Next, he relaxed his hole, as if not to be outdone by his older brother.
I squeezed some more lube directly onto each brother's hairy hole, letting them go to town on each other with more ease.
"This is… kinda good," Earl admitted, getting into the groove of anal play.
"Fuck yeah," my husband panted. In his voice, I could hear that he wanted more, but he was holding back from asking his brother for it.
"Feel free to slip a second finger in, Earl," I said to my brother-in-law. "Trust me, he can take it."
Earl obeyed and started fingering his older sibling with two fingers. I watched as my husband's hole spread wider and wider, swallowing his brother's fingers hungrily.
"Fuck baby," I said, "Maybe it's time for you to take a real dick."
"What?" Earl asked, looking at me over his shoulder.
"I've fucked Thad with a strap-on, quite a few times. He loves it. But he's never tried a real dick. I think it's time to change that."
My brother-in-law and I looked each other in the eyes. Now I was the one with a smirk on my face. Meanwhile, my husband just moaned with his eyes closed, enjoying the sensation of two fingers up his ass and craving more.
"I've fucked a guy up the ass once," Earl suddenly shocked me by admitting. "It's why my ex and I broke up. It was her brother. He and I got drunk together one day. He'd always been kinda flirty with me but that day he asked me to fuck him and I drunkenly went with it."
While sharing his story, Earl fingered Thad nonstop.
"Did you enjoy fucking a guy?" I asked Earl.
"I'm not gon lie, it was nice. I mean, I got no feelings for the fucker but it WAS a nice hole."
"And how's your brother's hole?" I said.
"Even tighter. It's probably seen less action," Earl reviewed his sibling's asshole.
"Wanna help open it up?" I got on my knees on the bed in front of Earl and took his face in my hands, the tips of our noses almost touching.
Without saying a word, Earl's head nodded very subtly. I smiled and let go of him and went to face my spouse instead.
"What do you say, baby?" I placed my hands on Thad's face now. "Is it okay for Earl to fuck you?"
Thad opened his eyes and took a deep breath before answering.
"I don't know. He's pretty big. Bigger than the strap-on."
Interestingly enough, Thad's qualm was with Earl's dick size, not the fact that he was his brother.
"Oh, I believe in you. You can do it. I can take you up my ass easily and you're almost as big as your brother," I said, stroking my husband's ego at the same time as I stroked his smooth-shaven cheeks.
"Okay, fine," Thad decided. With his face still in my hands, he retreated his hand from his brother's ass and he slumped down on the bed, resting on his elbows with his ass up in the air again.
I let go of Thad and for the first time ever I reached for my brother-in-law's cock. Earl took his hand out of Thad's ass as well, and he let me lead him off the bed like a leashed dog. I walked us both behind my husband's ass. From this position, my brother-in-law and I were both treated to a closeup view of Thad's throbbing hole, begging to be filled.
"Go right ahead," I said, giving Earl's cock a few more strokes before letting go of it so he could fuck his own brother with it. My hand was now covered in Earl's precum. He was leaking so much of it that he wouldn't need any more lube to go inside Thad's ass.
If there was any hesitation in Earl, he didn't show it. He positioned himself right behind his big brother, holding his cock up and guiding it up to Thad's opening. I observed as Earl's cockhead spat out a few wads of precum right into his brother's ass lips. Next, that same cockhead started to push its way into my husband's hole, fighting past the barrier that was Thad's sphincter.
"Relax baby, just like we do it when I fuck you," I stroked my hubby's back. The words of encouragement seemed to work. Thad took a deep breath and he opened his hole enough for Earl's protruding mushroom head to slide all the way inside.
"Fuck, there we go!" Earl grunted in pleasure. Phase one was done.
"Take it slow," I asked of my brother-in-law. Now that we were doing this I felt protective of Thad. A good, honest, hardworking guy who listened to his mama and went to church every Sunday. In his designer suits and expensive cars, you'd never think the young husband-and-father liked taking it up the ass not only from his wife, but from his brother as well.
Earl heeded my advice and he went slow. He pushed his cock in inch by inch, giving his brother's hole plenty of time to adapt. I remembered the first time I ever fucked Thad. Even though he required SOME time to get used to the strap-on, I was still impressed by the fact it only took him a matter of minutes. Now, just like that, Thad proved to be an impressive bottom regardless of whether he was being fucked by a toy or a real dick. Before I knew it, half of his brother's shaft was firmly inside Thad ass. A minute or so later, Earl's pubes were brushing against the fine hair around my husband's asshole. Earl was in ball-deep, his ball sack slamming against his big brother's taint.
"You did it, baby!" I said proudly and patted Thad's back again. Then, I looked up at Earl. "Now give him a good fucking."
I'd never seen my brother-in-law fuck anyone before but I just KNEW he was an expert. His body, his confidence, his swagger; all of it exuded "excellent fucker" energy. And he didn't disappoint. He started off by smacking his brother's ass, as if to say "I'm in and it's time to play."
Slowly, Earl pulled out until only the head of his dick was inside my husband, and then he picked up speed and slammed inward again. He repeated this movement, thrusting back and forth, accelerating with each turn, while my husband let out the sexiest grunts I'd ever heard. It reminded me of going to the gym with Thad and watching him deadlift more than anyone there, grunting loudly and attracting attention and admiration. He was a fighter, Thad was. As well as one of the most sexually adventurous men I'd ever met. Which is why I loved him so much.
"Give it to him!" I barked at my brother-in-law, ready to see the two of them in action.
"Fucking right," Earl growled and he let his caution to the wind. He picked up speed and started piston-fucking his big brother. At first Thad gritted his teeth, but then his grunts turned into moans of pleasure. I watched his hairy asshole move in- and outward as Earl stabbed his steel-like cock into it. He fucked him like he had a grudge against him, like he was trying to hurt him. But I knew that wasn't the case. All three of us were attune to the energy in the room, and we could tell just how much each of us was enjoying this, including Thad. ESPECIALLY Thad.
My brother-in-law smacked his brother's ass a few more times, leaving red marks on my husband's asscheeks shaped like his large hands. I looked down between Thad's legs and I saw his nine-incher hard as a fucking rock, dripping precum all over our sheets like a leaky faucet. I slid my arm between my husband's strong thighs and I wrapped my hand around his dick, milking him while he took his baby brother's babymaker.
Both brothers' bodies moved back-and-forth while they banged. I didn't even need to move my hand to jerk Thad off: he was fucking it by himself, propelled by his brother's body weight. The Harland boys were both wrestlers in high school and although they never fought in the same category, I was certain they practiced at home on each other. Neither of them had wrestled in years and now this was their glorious return to the sport, only this time involving more dick in ass.
After a while, Earl's thrusting slowed down. Even a stud like him needed a break. With his cock still in his brother's ass, Earl's upper body leaned down and he gave Thad a gentle kiss on the back of the neck, which was actually very nice to see. Now, the two of them flowed slowly, like they were making love rather than fucking. This lasted for five or ten minutes until both brothers caught their breath. Then, Earl went to town again, hammering Thad's ass like there was no tomorrow. I could hear balls slapping and cuss words echoing. My hand was still between Thad's legs, milking his dick and taking occasional breaks, both so I could rest but also to make sure he doesn't cum just yet.
But soon, I could tell he couldn't take it anymore. My husband had been on the edge for so long and he just NEEDED to cum. His balls was tighter than ever, just begging for release. I wanted him to shoot his load, but I also wanted Earl to get to cum. As if he read my thoughts, my brother-in-law said,
"I'm fucking close. I'm bout to cum soon."
"Do it. Cum inside his ass! That alright, baby?" I asked my husband dearest.
"Aha," Thad nodded, so much sweat running down his face like he's just gotten out of the shower.
I saw Earl biting his lower lip as he started thrusting so fast that it was hard to follow. My husband's cock in my hand got harder than ever. Any second now, I expected him to blow. But first, I heard a…
"AAAAAH FUCKKKKK!!!" from Earl, who started cumming inside my husband, something no strap-on could do. For the first time, Thad was experiencing the sensation of semen inside his guts, and it came from his very own hunk of a brother.
"Fuck yeah!" Thad grunted and blew his load in my hand, shooting all over the sheets as well as my arm. Earl continued to jackhammer his ass, shooting wad after wad of jizz inside his hole. I don't know when was the last time Earl had sex – it might've been a while now that he was single – so this cumshot was large enough to make up for all that time. One thing I knew for a fact was that my husband's cumload was absolutely massive! If he'd shot it inside me, I probably would've found myself pregnant for the second time.
As the younger Harland sibling filled his older brother with his seed, Thad continued to blow his load. Finally, he was done and I let go of his still-rigid cock. I went behind him to look at his ass. I wanted a closeup view of his hole when Earl pulled out of it.
Both brothers were breathing like they'd just run a marathon, but especially my brother-in-law. I leaned down right next to the spot where his dick went inside my husband's ass, and I watched closely as Earl began pulling out. The first half of his shaft appeared, covered in Earl's cum. As he pulled out, his brother's ass hair stuck to Earl's dick, brushing the cum on it like a paintbrush. Earl took out the rest of his shaft, leaving only the cockhead in. Then, carefully, Earl pulled out his glans, covered in so much cum that it was white instead of pink. Thad's hole was now left gaping open, fraternal cum dripping down my husband's taint and reaching his balls. Thad's hole winked at us, as if waving goodbye, and it clamped closed with all of his brother's babies safely inside.
I leaned into Earl and gave him a big, hot, passionate kiss. Since I was shorter, I had easy access to his ass and I pressed one finger against his hole.
"That feels good," he smiled at me.
"It feels ever better with a dick up there," I teased. "What're you up to next Sunday? Maybe you can come over after church and your brother can show you."