CHAPTER 4 | SENIOR YEAR, SPRING SEMESTER
New Endings, New Beginnings
That year, for the first time ever, I didn't spend Christmas with my mother. When I came back to college after fall break, I searched frantically for an internship in December; anything that would keep me away from Seattle. I found something close to school and told Mom it was "too good to miss out."
In reality, I couldn't stand to face her fiancé Turner again, not after what had happened. I was so embarrassed! He knew. He knew I'd stolen his underwear, even if I'd sort of done it unintentionally. Still, I kept them, smelled them, jerked off to them… and he knew. He knew the power he had over me, and I just didn't know what to do. I was confused because… I liked it.
Before starting college, I thought my first semester here would be the loneliest one. I was wrong: the loneliest semester was the very last one. A lot of people I knew had already graduated. Others were off studying abroad or interning somewhere. Unexpectedly, I'd found myself in a school I knew very well, surrounded by people I didn't know at all.
The only person I saw on a regular basis anymore was my roommate. Yet, how close were we really? Camron and I had a complicated past. We'd spent the first year fucking, managing to stay fuck buddies without any emotional drama. But this year, I felt like I barely knew him. Camron had become more distant, as have I. But that was all about to change.
The first day back after winter break, Camron asked me to sit down and talk.
"I have something to tell you," he said earnestly, sitting next to me on my bed.
"I… I think I'm gay. I… I know I am. It just took me a while to come to terms with it."
It took me a second to react, before I said "Good for you. For finally doing it now."
Camron didn't seem too thrilled.
"Where I come from, in my circles… Being gay's not an option, okay? It's… it's been a fucking trip."
"Cam, you'll be alright. You're the creator of you own destiny. And all that other motivational bullshit," I smiled, and put my hand on his in his lap. "You'll be fine."
Suddenly, I felt like the old Skyler again. The one who'd been out since he was a kid, the one that other guys confused about their sexuality came to for advice. I remembered Aaron, and missed him terribly.
"Thank you," Cam cracked a smile. "Not just for saying that. What happened between us helped me realize who I was."
"Good thing you broke up with your girlfriend, then."
"Ironically, she's the only one back home that ain't mad at me. She's the only one who understands."
"I understand," I squeezed his hand.
"A white boy who grew up in Seattle with a super gay-friendly mom? Yeah, I don't think you do. But thanks for trying."
"Well, if it makes you feel better, even with all the privilege I have, I still feel fucked up," I added.
We sat in silence for a moment, holding each other's hands.
"Hey, you wanna go out for dinner?" Cam offered out of the blue. "We're always cooped up here. I don't even remember the last time we did anything together outside of this room."
I smiled. "Sure."
Half an hour later, we were sitting across each other at a crowded diner, ordering burgers and milkshakes.
"What shake would you like, hon?" the plump server asked me.
"Cherry, please," I answered and handed her back the menu.
"You love cherries. You always smell of them," Camron said when we were alone again.
"It's Magic In The Air," I thought wistfully.
"It sure is," Cam smiled, looking at me. "So, what's fucking you up?"
"Everything," I sighed again. "I'm graduating in a few months and I have no idea what I'm doing after. Everyone that I was friends with in high school and college is scattered all over the world, so I feel like I have no one. My mom's getting married for the first time in her life, and her fiancé and I have… a history."
Camron furrowed his eyebrows.
"Okay, let's start with that last one? What history?"
"Well, I guess the simplest way to put it is: I'm attracted to him."
"Why do I feel like that's not the end of the story?"
"It's not. Last year, I sorta accidentally stole a pair of his underwear."
"How do you accidentally steal something?"
"I picked them up and forgot to put them back. And I could've just thrown them away, but I kept them."
"Wait, are we talking about a pair of black briefs?"
"I've seen them around the room. You've left them on your bed a few times. I just assumed they were your favorite pair."
"Well, that's the problem. I used them to jerk off. And Turner somehow knew, and he called me out on it."
"Shit. Has he told your mom?"
"No, it's not like that. I'm thinking maybe I should be the one to tell her. Before she goes ahead and marries the guy."
"Why wouldn't she? You're the thief. He sounds pretty innocent in this situation."
"That's because I'm not telling you the whole story. When he cornered me over fall break he sorta… I don't know how to put it… teased me? Like, he made me jerk off in front of him."
"He made you jerk off in front of him?"
"No, he didn't force me, I… I wasn't even jerking off, I just came... He knew it would turn me on so he… sorta encouraged it."
"So am I, Camron, trust me."
"What's your gut telling you?"
"I guess… It's telling me to stay out of it."
"Then that's what you do. There, problem solved. Now, what else were you freaking out about, life after school? Didn't you say you got a job offer?"
"I did. That place where I interned over winter break, they offered me to come back after graduation."
"There, done! Take it. You have no other plans anyway. And what was the last thing, having friends? If you take that job you get to stay here, and you already have one friend: me!"
"It really is that easy with you, isn't it?" I said, maintaining my smile all throughout dinner.
Since the evening was freezing cold, Camron and I decided to get a car service back to the dorm when we were done. At one point, the driver commented "you guys look so cute together," which made both of us smile, but we didn't say anything to correct her.
Back in Room 141, we got ready for bed quietly, trying not to wake up our new suitemates whose names we didn't even know. I got down to my underwear and lay in my bed. A few minutes later, I was surprised to feel Camron lie down beside me.
"This okay?" he whispered in my ear.
"It is," I put his strong arm around me, appreciating how warm his body felt in this cold.
That night, I slept better than I can remember sleeping in months. Camron's huge football player body barely fit next to me in my single bed, but I didn't mind being stuck between him and the wall. Instead of trapped, I felt protected.
I'd gone to bed in my underwear, but my roommate had snuck in naked. During the night, I could feel his hard cock against my ass as we spooned. I stayed in that position all night, backing my ass up in Camron's crotch until the morning.
When we both finally woke up, I turned to look at him. Cam moved his face closer to mine. And then, he did something he's never done before: he kissed me.
All the times we had had sex, Camron and I never kissed. I always assumed he was "straight" and that was one of his no-gos. But now, we started to make out passionately, ignoring each other's morning breath, too caught up in the moment, huddled up together in my small bed. Camron's huge dick, still hard first thing in the morning, seemed to take up most of the space.
As we kissed, I started stroking his monster cock. I'd done it before many times, but now that he was out, it felt different: it felt like more than just sex.
I continued to suck on Cam's tongue and his luscious lips, before starting to move down to reach for his dick.
"No," Camron interrupted me. "I wanna do it to you."
I looked at him and nodded. I didn't need to ask: I knew Camron had never sucked a dick before. Just like our straight suitemate McKenzie last year. Guess I should add "blowjob coach" to my résumé.
Camron took off my boxer briefs, and reached for my cock. For the shortest second I felt embarrassed, being so much smaller than him, then I realized it doesn't fucking matter; besides, he made pretty much everyone look small in comparison.
I closed my eyes and enjoyed getting hard with my dick in Cam's mouth. Unlike McKenzie, he didn't need any direction: he was a natural. "He really is gay," I thought. "Maybe it's a natural instinct we're all born with."
Even though I was a bottom, I enjoyed a nice blowjob from time to time. As the minutes went by, I was amazed that this was turning out to be the best blowjob I'd ever gotten! I couldn't believe Cam was still a newbie.
"Fuck, you know how to use your tongue," I moaned.
"Thanks. It's what my ex-girlfriend always used to say."
I laughed, and let him continue. He didn't work my shaft much, and mostly focused on my head, which I was perfectly fine with because of how good he was. After a while, he started using his fingers to play with my balls, my shaft, and my asshole. I trembled and moaned louder and louder.
This is exactly what I needed! Sex to get my mind off things. One where I was the center of attention and the one being pleased.
I came close to cumming every few minutes, and Cam knew to back off and let me calm down, before continuing. He teased and edged me this way for over half an hour, something no one's done to me before.
At least temporarily, all of the voices and doubts in my head disappeared. I was lost in the moment and enjoying the pleasure spreading from my dick to the rest of my entire body.
I came close to cumming, and Cam stopped. Five minutes later, I was close again, so he stopped. Three minutes later, I was close again.
Cam kept going.
"Yeah, man, you wanna cum?"
"Fuck yeah," I begged. "Oh please make me cum."
"You gon shoot your load all over?"
"Yes. Oh fuck yes," I moaned with my eyes closed as he jerked me off faster and faster.
"No you won't. 'Cause it's all going in my mouth," he announced, and went down on me again.
A mere second after Cam's lips touched my dick, I started shooting my load. My roommate sucked and licked the head of my dick, sucking all the cum out of me. My body spasmed, and he put his large, strong hands on my thighs to keep me from kicking too much.
I fed Cam my load, his first ever. After he swallowed it all, he came back up to cuddle with me some more.
"Fuck, I needed that," I said. "Just the thing to help me relax."
"Don't worry," he said softly in my ear, stroking my hair. It was still early in the morning and I was starting to drift back off to sleep in his arms after such an amazing orgasm. "You'll be alright. You're the creator of your own destiny. And all that other motivational bullshit."