Classes were easy for the next couple of weeks. We were done with midterms and fall break was coming up. I'd be going home for the first time since starting college. At this point, it was starting to feel like I had two lives: the one I'd left behind at home and the person I was becoming at school.
I wasn't really sure who that latter person was. Letting a guy suck me off was messing with my head. Was I gay now? I thought back of all the girls I'd dated and hooked up with. I knew it wasn't unusual for gay guys to be with girls when they're younger and "confused," but it didn't feel that way for me, I was genuinely into everyone I'd been with.
Was I just a straight guy who let another guy blow him once, no big deal? I loved Eric's blowjob; if you were gonna pick someone to suck you off he was a great choice. He was a senior, had plenty of experience, plus growing up with two gay dads made him very comfortable with his sexuality. But it wasn't just Eric, was it? I remembered the kiss with Skyler, a kiss I had initiated. Plus the shirtless photo of Prof. Carr I had, which didn't leave me indifferent either.
That day in English class, I saw Skyler sit in his spot, next to an empty seat that was usually occupied by me, but I went to the back of the room and sat next to a girl I didn't know. I tried to ignore Prof. Carr, which made my mind wander even more, making me feel more confused. When class was over, I went straight to my room and sighed loudly while closing the door and dropping my bag on the floor.
"You okay, man?" Rory said, turning around on his desk chair and startling me.
"Hey. Didn't know you were here," I replied.
"My class's canceled. Did you have a crappy one?"
"No, it was fine," I said and dropped down on my bed.
"Listen, I don't mean to be nosy and I might be misreading the situation, but you seem kinda off the past couple of weeks. If you feel like talking about anything... just let me know."
I guess it was impossible to share a room with someone without them picking up on things happening in your life.
"How are things going with you and Mia?" I asked Rory.
"Pretty good, thanks."
"Have you... been with a lot of girls?"
"Aah, girl trouble," he said, turning around completely to face me and made himself comfortable. "I should've guessed."
Ha! If he only knew.
"Well," he continued, "not too many. If you're asking about sex, I usually only have sex with girls that I'm 'dating,'" he used air quotes, "I'm old-fashioned like that. So all in all just 5 or 6 since high school when I started."
"And... have you ever been with a guy?"
"Oh," he said, a look of realization dawning on his face, "so that's what it about."
"No. Maybe. I don't know," I shook my head.
"Listen man, it's fine." He got up off his chair and came to sit next to me on my bed. "As long as you're careful and everything, who cares? It's what college's all about."
He was only a couple of years older than me, but he felt like a proper older brother in that moment. Something I'd never had.
"I... had a guy suck me off," I confessed.
"That's fine. Everything went well?" he asked casually.
"Yes. Too good, maybe."
"And now you're worried you might be gay," he deducted.
I said nothing. We sat in silence for a few seconds.
"I never answered your question," he said. "When I was a kid I shared a room with my brother. Around third or fourth grade or so I started getting erections. All. The. Time! My brother noticed and told me what masturbation was. He was in high school at the time. He didn't show me or anything like that, but he explained how to do it. When I did it by myself for the first time – I don't know if you remember your first time, but for me it was like I'd tried heroin or something. I was hooked! I ran to my best friend at the time and showed him. From that point on, we started jerking off together every single day. First we just did it in front of each other, then we kinda started doing it mutually and stuff. This went on for a couple of years. Then he went to a different middle school and we stopped hanging out so much. We're Facebook friends now, he has a gorgeous boyfriend, they plan on getting married after they graduate. Funnily enough my brother came out a few years ago as well."
"Oh," I said, looking Rory in the eyes.
"My point is," he continued, "I think most boys have some sorta 'experience' with other boys, we just don't talk about it. Either because we're worried about being labeled as gay, or because we don't talk about sex and experimenting in general. Bottom line: it's fine, no need to overthink it. If you're gay, you're gay. And don't forget the very real possibility that you might be bi."
"You think so?" I asked.
"I don't know, my man," he slapped my knee and got up. "But it's as good a time as any to figure it out. Just don't put pressure on yourself."
"Rory," I said and got up as well, standing next to him. "Thank you, man. Really."
We both reached for a hug at the same time. We gave each other a tight squeeze and remained that way for a few seconds.
"It was Eric, wasn't it?" Rory said quietly in my ear.
"That fucker!" he laughed loudly.
A few days later, Nevaeh was having a small party at her place before fall break. This far into the semester, cliques were already formed and all of a sudden having to spend a week without your new friends felt like eternity. On top of all the other changes I was going through, I'd also started to drink. Nowhere near as heavily as some of my peers, but Nevaeh's loft, free of dorm rules, was the perfect place to let go and have a few.
I stumbled into my room in the middle of the night. I was trying to be quiet coming in, so I don't wake Rory up, but I needn't have worried. He was awake, lying in his bed, jerking off. He was completely naked.
"Sorry, man," I said. "Do you want me to leave?" I stood in the doorway.
"No that's fine. It's late, you better get some sleep," he said and pulled up the cover over him.
I took my clothes off, deciding to sleep naked just like him. I was too drunk and tired to worry about brushing my teeth, so I killed the light and got into bed.
A couple of minutes later I heard some noise coming from Rory's bed. Our beds were only a few feet apart, there was no mistaking it. He was back to jerking off.
"Rory?" I whispered.
"Sorry man. Can't fall asleep until I cum. I'll only be a couple minutes. Do you mind?"
"No, go ahead."
This wasn't the first time I'd walked in on Rory jerking off, or seen his erect dick. I remembered the first time I saw him with a hard-on, a couple months ago. I was surprised at just how big he was, something that you couldn't necessarily tell when you saw him flaccid. Now that I'd given him my permission to continue, the sounds of jerking off coming from his bed were beyond obvious. I heard the smacking as his hand, or maybe both hands, went up and down his rod.
"Mm. Mmm," Rory was starting to moan out in pleasure. He was trying to keep it down, but I could just about make it out. "Aaah!" he let himself go, louder, as his pleasure intensified.
By this point, I was completely erect and it felt harder and bigger than I'd ever been. The last time I was hard and drunk was when Eric was sucking my dick. I remembered the way it felt inside his warm throat.
"Fuck," I whispered and reached for some lube from the nightstand.
I squirted some on my hand and flipped the cap closed. The sounds were unmistakable. I reached under the cover and grabbed my stiff cock.
"Mmm," I moaned out loud as well.
We were now both jerking off. The sounds of us stroking our cocks and occasionally moaning made it clear to both of us what we were doing. We'd stopped trying to keep it down.
"Fuck man, this feels so good," Rory said quietly.
"Yes," I replied, still stroking. "Fuck, I'm so fucking horny."
"I'm gonna cum soon," he announced. His stroking intensified and sped up.
"Wait for me," I demanded, suddenly. He'd gotten a head start. I wanted to catch up.
"Hurry up, bro. Fuuuck, I'm so close."
I played with the head of my dick, super sensitive to the touch now. I pulled on my balls with my unlubricated hand. Then I remembered Eric pressing on my perineum as he sucked me and how good that felt, so I did the same.
"You ready, man? Fuck, I'm about to cum!" I said.
"Me too!" Rory moaned out in ecstasy. I heard him pull down his cover and I did the same.
"Fuck!" he screamed. "Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah!"
Our session had turned into a screaming match of who can cum louder and stronger. "Fuck yeah, man. Fuck yeah!" I repeated as my orgasm neared. The manly energy in the room was amazing! I was ready to cum.
"Aaah, fuck! Yes!" I screamed as spurts of warm cum shot out of my dick, hitting my stomach, my chest, and the side of my face. Rory was moaning and screaming and cumming at the very same time.
I felt a tingle up and down my entire body. That was amazing! I felt it from the tips of my toes, going up and shooting out of my dick, then continuing all the way to my brain. When it was all over, I felt more relaxed than I'd ever been.
The room got quiet, except for the sounds of us breathing loudly.
"Fuck man. I don't know about you, but I made a mess!" Rory laughed.
"Here," I said, carefully getting up and reaching for the white towel in the bottom of my closet. Eric's cum was already on it, dry and crusty at this point.
I wiped all my cum carefully off my body, then walked over to Rory's bed and handed him the towel. In the dim moonlight, I saw his dick rest on his stomach, still huge and slowly going soft. His upper body was covered with jizz as well. He accepted the towel and used it to wipe the cum off, then handed it back to me.
"Good night, bro," I said and patted him on his chest. His chest and my hand were both still a bit sticky.
"Night, man," he said and gave me a playful smack on the ass.