The Morning After
This series is the follow-up to Model Dad
It was available to Supporters in the fall of 2019
– August 2019: The Morning After –
"You're nothing like what I expected," my son had told me. He expected a more "traditional" dad. Someone stricter, maybe. More stuck up. More distant. If only he knew this was nothing like what I expected either.
I didn't expect to wake up with my son in my arms, sleeping softly while I hugged him from behind. I didn't expect to have him lying in my bed naked. I didn't expect to ever have sex with him.
And yet it'd happened. On his last day here, of all things. Now what? Were we supposed to pretend like nothing happened? "Bye son, have fun at college, see ya next time"?
I managed to reach my phone without waking Sam up. 5 AM. Fuck, it's early. Still, we'll need to head to the airport in a couple of hours. Might as well get up and have some coffee.
Slowly, gently, I wiggled out of bed. Sam looked like an angel as he snoozed. I admired his naked body for a minute, a smile plastered on my face, before heading downstairs.
The loud noise the coffee machine made was more than welcome. As soon as it was done, the silence was agonizing. I could hear the voices arguing in my head.
"You're a disgusting piece of shit. Scum of the earth! You belong in jail. Is gay incest even legal in the state of California?"
"Sam's okay," a gentler voice chimed in. "He wanted it too. He's 18, not a child anymore. And you just met a couple of months ago, it's not like you groomed him his whole life for this."
I looked at my reflection in one of the glass cabinets, not sure what to think, how to feel. Luckily, a distraction presented itself.
"Morning," I heard a voice come from behind me. I turned around to see my son, still naked, walking into the kitchen. "Any coffee left for me?"
"No," I replied, looking down at my cup. "You can have this. I'll make some more."
I handed him my mug and he leaned forward to give me a good-morning kiss. I smiled and turned back to the coffee machine.
Again, the loud noise reverberating in the kitchen was gladly received. Can I just leave the machine running all day?
"Do you... Do you need to pack anything before we head out?" I stuttered when my coffee was done.
"No, I did everything yesterday. Just need to shower and change, and I'm all set."
"Good," I said, still staring down at the counter. "We have plenty of time then, no need to rush."
"Dad. Turn around. Look at me."
I did as my son told me, and looked him in the eyes.
"Sam. We need to talk."
"Okay," he said, and pulled up a chair. "You're right. But before we get started... I wanna say something."
I stood silently in anticipation. Sam pointed to another chair and I went to sit down.
"I..." he started. "I'm okay. Just wanted you to know that. Cuz you seem kinda... weird this morning."
A moment of silence followed.
"Son, still..." I had no idea how to continue. There was no precedent for what had happened. It felt like we were the first people in the world to ever do this.
"I'm more than okay, really," Sam took the lead again. "I loved every moment of last night. It is by far my favorite memory of this summer."
I looked at him; he was smiling. I smiled back.
"You said I could stay, move here," my son continued, "and that meant a lot. But I gotta go back. I got accepted to BU and I was very proud of that, and so was Mom. And yes, a part of me is scared shitless, but I'm also excited. I know Boston better than I know LA, so I think I'll be more comfortable there for the time being."
"Of course," I nodded, even though I wasn't sure what this all had to do with what happened last night.
"My point is... I have a lot going on in the next couple of months. And you just moved here so I'm sure you do too, finishing up the house and everything."
He pointed around my half-furnished house. He was right.
"I think... this is good," Sam said. "We'll continue as planned. And then the next time we see each other, we'll see how things go. Dad, I'll... I'll miss you a lot." All of a sudden Sam started to choke up, and I saw tears in his eyes. "Both because you're my dad, and because you're the way you are, and everything that happened, I... I'll miss you. But I know I gotta do this."
I got up and walked up to my son and gave him the tightest hug I'd ever given anyone, while he sobbed on my shoulder for a few seconds.
"Sam... Honey. You can be really mature, you know that? And I love you too."
We hugged like that, naked, until we'd both started to laugh at how dramatic we were being. After that, it was "business as usual." I wasn't sure what, but some sort of silent agreement had been reached.
We finished our coffee. We each took a shower. We got dressed and headed to LAX. Just like father and son. Except that, at the departure gate, the kiss we shared was on the lips, our tongues going in and out of each other's mouths for a full minute.
– September 2019: Daddy Issues –
"Wait, can you see me?" I waved my phone around in the air. "The wifi here sucks sometimes."
"I can see you, it's all good."
I was on FaceTime with my best friend Lamar again. I still considered him my "best friend," even though we went from seeing each other every day in high school, to probably seeing each other a few times a year now.
"How's Toronto?" I asked.
"It's good, I'm getting used to things. I'm an international ho now," he flipped his imaginary long hair. "How's Boston, what's good with you?"
"It's alright. My class was canceled today so it's my day off. And my roommate's in class all day so I got the room to myself."
"So what're you gonna do with your day off?"
"Talk to you. Jerk off. Not simultaneously! Probably talk to my dad later. It's too early there, he's probably still asleep."
"Yeah. How's everything with... that?"
Lamar was the only person I'd told about my dad. Everything about my dad. Although he was shocked to hear the story, he wasn't judgmental about it.
"Everything's okay," I replied. "Like, when we talk it's all about school and the gym and stuff, like, we don't bring up sex. It's not because we're avoiding the topic, it's just not the right time."
"Mhm. Sounds to me like you're doing some avoiding, but alright."
"Well, it's just, what're we gonna say? We had sex and we both loved it? And now we can't do it again because he's all the way across the country?"
Lamar looked at me through the phone, eyebrows raised and lips puckered. I knew he wasn't judging me, but he was silently calling me out. And he was right.
"Listen," I continued. "Thing is, I love him. And whether I love him as my dad or as my... lover, or whatever the fuck you wanna call it, I don't fucking know. But the good news is, I don't even have the time to try to decide. I gotta get this degree, then we'll see what happens."
"Aight, boo. You know I have your back no matter what."
"I know," I smiled. "Hold on, I think someone's about to come in."
I heard the keycard sensor outside our door beep, and my roommate entered the room.
"Hey," I said. "I thought you were in class all day?"
"I am, I just got half an hour between classes and needed to pick something up."
He walked into our room quickly, leaving the door open, and retrieved something from his desk.
"I'm just talking to my friend, come say hi," I said, facing my phone to my roommate. "Lamar, this is Brady. Brady, Lamar."
"Hey man, nice to meet you," my roommate Brady smiled. "Since we're making introductions, I wanted you to meet someone as well. Guys, come on in!" he yelled louder. Somebody was waiting for him outside.
Two men who looked to be around 50 walked into our room. They were both blond and in excellent shape, and dressed in clothes that showed it off. One of them wore a T-shirt so tight I could tell his nipples were pierced underneath.
"David, Sven, this is my roommate Sam. Sam, these are my partners."
Did he say "parents" or "partners"?!
"Nice to meet you," I shook hands with the two men, not sure how to react but acting normal.
"Listen, I gotta go, but I'll catch you later," Brady rushed out of the room, his "partners" waving and winking at me on their way out.
"Did he say they were his 'partners'?!" Lamar screeched over the phone.
"Yeah," I furrowed my brows in confusion. "I knew Brady was gay, but like, what, he's in a poly throuple?"
"With men old enough to be his dads!" Lamar noted. "See, you're not the only one with daddy issues."
– October 2019: Crush –
"Fuck, that was good. Who's that?" I heard as I reached for my phone. The person asking the question was my friend and occasional fuck buddy Kimi, lying next to me in my bed naked, after I'd just made her cum.
"Sorry, it's my son," I said. I knew it would be him. My phone only pinged when I got notifications from Sam.
"Tsk tsk. It's my last week here, and I can't even get your undivided attention," she said jokingly.
"Hey. You know that when it's about my son, he comes first."
"Is that C-O-M-E-S or C-U-M-S?" Kimi stuck out her tongue at me.
"Very funny," I rolled my eyes.
Kimi was my closest confidante and the only person I'd dared tell about Sam and me, and the fact we'd had sex. Too bad she was about to move to Chicago and I wouldn't have her here anymore.
"Is everything okay?" she asked, my naked body sprawled over hers to reach my phone.
"Yeah, he just posted a pic on Instagram."
"Damn, you even get notifications when he posts on Instagram? Let me see."
I pointed my phone at her. It was a selfie of my son at the college gym. He was lifting up his shirt in the mirror to show off his abs and emerging pecs."
"He's getting ripped," Kimi noted. "When I met him over the summer he was so much skinnier."
"Yes," I wholeheartedly agreed. "I've been helping him bulk up. I made a meal plan for him and a workout regime and he's been really good. He's sticking to it with lots of discipline."
For the past couple of months, I'd been following my son's fitness journey both on social media, and through the private photos he sent me. Not only was his body getting fitter and fitter, but his confidence seemed to be growing proportionally to his muscle mass. Scrolling down to his old photos, he never used to post anything show-offy. Now, it was one shirtless selfie after another; a grid of prime teenage muscle. I always kept an eye on his growing number or followers, remembering what he once said jokingly: "My goal's to steal all your followers by Christmas."
I took my phone back, looking at my son's photo and smiling.
"I know that grin," Kimi said teasingly, then added in a singsongy voice: "You got a cruuush."
– November 2019: Back Where We Left Off –
It was almost precisely three months ago, the last time we saw each other, at this same airport. I ran into my dad's arms, giving him a passionate kiss. I'd missed him even more than I realized.
After kissing for several minutes, making heads turn, we broke it off and stared at each other's eyes, the tips of our noses almost touching.
"I hope you couldn't taste that," I said.
"I sucked some guy off on the plane here," I stuck my tongue out.
"You dirty – little – slut," my dad gave me three spanks on my butt, then put his arm around me, leading me to his BMW.
"How's your mom?" he asked as soon as we hit the freeway.
"Less than thrilled that I chose to come here. It's our first Thanksgiving apart."
"I can understand that," Dad replied.
"But I promised I'll spend Christmas with her, and that's a longer break."
Indeed, I was only here for four days and I was already wishing it were longer.
"Holy shit!" I said as soon as I walked into Dad's house. It was like an arts and crafts store exploded all over the place. The house was full of little plastic pumpkins and fake orange leaves. In the kitchen, the napkins, the cups, everything I could see, had pilgrims or turkeys on it. Some of it might've been cute on its own, but all of it together was way over the top.
"What the hell's all this?" I asked in surprise.
"I wasn't sure how to decorate for Thanksgiving," Dad said humbly. "So I hired a decorator to do it."
"Why would you wanna do that?"
"I wanted you to feel like home."
"Dad, I love you, but this is hideous," I laughed. "And it doesn't feel like home at all."
"Well, you know," he said, taking a step toward me, "the upstairs's not decorated at all."
A second later, my eyes were closed and my tongue was in my dad's mouth again. A minute later, I was on his bed, pulling his shirt off to admire his impeccable torso.
"Dad... you're gorgeous," I said, running my fingertips over his muscles, feeling his pecs and his erect nips, gliding my fingers through the ridges between his abs.
"You're not half bad yourself," he said, taking my shirt off and guiding his large hands over my bare skin.
Just like that, there was no more talk of school or the gym, or ugly decorations. We were right back where we left off: making love in Dad's bed.